Motherhood is something you cannot describe.
It’s one of the few things that is indescribable to anyone who is not in the same position.
I know, because before I became a mom, I was one of those.
The one who had an exact plan of things I would or would never do.
The one with a plan of what life was going to look like once I had kids.
The one who read all the latest books and blogs and had every milestone memorized.
The list goes on and on.
Motherhood changed me. Forever.
It’s been a crazy ride but to say it’s rewarding would be an understatement.
Here are a 8 things that have unexpectedly happened to me in the past 3 years.
1. I no longer care about my weight.
Really, I know there is a mass movement of women out there who are dying to get back into their pre baby jeans. I get it. But I also know that once we get back into a certain size nothing magical happens. Our kids don’t love us anymore because we are back into our jeans. We aren’t “better” because we now wear the size we wore 5 years ago. Motherhood has taught me that the numbers don’t matter. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Having thighs that touch is OK. The scale, the numbers, none of it really matters. It’s all how I feel and no longer what a battery operated machine tells me. We are all so much more than a damn number.
My goal is always: healthy and strong. At the end of the day, that is the message I want my kids to know and understand.
2. This mama bear thing is REAL.
I mean, talk about crazy mama. Something REAL takes over you when it’s about your kids. I mean, I knew I had a temper but HOLY this shit is crazy. I get hot, my adrenaline starts rushing, and I will do whatever it takes to protect and stand up for my kids (when necessary) Look out because this mama bear isn’t playing around. And to think my oldest is only 3…woah!
3. I don’t care what anyone thinks about my parenting style. Period.
My house. My rules. If anyone doesn’t agree that is totally ok. To each is their own. But because I always like to be right 🙂 I play by my rules. What myself and my husband say and do is what works for us. End of story. It’s what we feel is best for our kids and our family. That being said, I despise unsolicited advice. I don’t know it all but I really don’t want to how the stranger in Target thinks I should manage the temper tantrum. I really don’t. BYYYEEE.
4. I need alone time.
I am busy. I have WAY too much going on but I need alone time. Every. Single. Day. It’s for my sanity as a mom, wife and human. I am not a nice person if I do not get alone time. I schedule myself some time everyday alone because by 5:00 I could likely kill someone if not. I always liked my alone time in the morning before kids but now this is a REAL thing. Now I get why my mom was always up at 5:00 am.
5. Nothing in the world matters as much as my kids. And I will worry about them as much as I need to.
My husband and I seriously sit and laugh about our lives before kids. Like WHAT did we do and how were we do busy? And now in this crazy chaotic season of our life with a toddler and a baby things are insane. Some days we just laugh but at the end of the day nothing else matters as much as our kids. The world, our life, our family, is so much more because of our kids. Our family is complete and this is something I “knew” but feeling it is something words cannot describe. My heart has expanded so many times over what I ever thought.
And because of this, I worry. Alot. Like way more than usual. It’s normal. To me, it’s part of being a mom. I want to protect them from the world. I know I can’t but I will do my best trying.
6. Running my own business means so much more as a mom.
Staying home with my kids was always this “thought” that I never saw as a possibility. But now, it’s my reality. Not only do I stay home with them full time, I run a very successful biz on the side. I say on the side because most of what happens, transpires during nap time. But having this “thing” has enabled me to life a life by design. More than that, it has allowed me to show my kids that anything is possible. There is more to life than passing tests and doing “what society thinks you should do.”
7. Exercise is required for my happiness.
The whole endorphin thing is science. It’s a fact. I have always loved to exercise but did not always do it for reasons outside how I looked or desired to look. In the back of my mind, I had a set of rules and requirements for how much exercise I *needed* to look a certain way.
But now as a mom, movement is key to my well being. It’s part of my self care. It gives me energy, patience, and helps me feel good. Sure I like to look fit but it’s all mental nowadays. Added bonus: my kids enjoy having a mom who can DO it all with them. We jump, run, play. It’s part of our everyday and for me, that is what matter. That is what exercise is about. Movement.
8. How much more I respect my body.
Ok so I never respected my body. It was always about the “look” and fitting into a size 2 meant I was worthy. Or good or whatever. I exercised my body into the ground, took pills, starved it for many years, then binged etc. I spent years hating my body into leanness and defining my self worth by the outside. I never saw my body for all that it was capable of and never thought about the consequences of my excessive exercise, eating disorders or self sabotage. Until I became pregnant.
All of a sudden, I needed my body. I needed a healthy body. I needed it to grow a human.
It was no longer about me. Or the look. It was about healthy. It was a turning point for me.
I never thought I would not care about the cellulite on the back of my legs or loose skin on my stomach. But I don’t. It really doesn’t move the dial for me as mom.
My body is badass. I finally see that now and treat my body with the respect it deserves.
Motherhood has been far from easy. But it’s something I feel so strongly that I was called to do. This season of my life is chaotic. Some days I count down until the day is over but the bottom line is that THIS life is so much better because I was chosen to be a mommy.