being selfish has made me a better mom

Before I became a mom I kind of had no idea what it was like to be busy.

Ok so I thought I was busy but I quickly realized after having my daughter that I really had ALOT of time.  I kind of wonder what I did all the time.  But I was selfish.  I basically just did what I wanted all the time.

Since having two kids of my own I have seen firsthand how easy it is to get overtaken by our kids.

Not in a bad way but everything WE need suddenly gets put on the back burner because in our minds we tell ourselves that “this is how it is supposed to be.”  THIS is what being a mom is all about.

Everything we NEED is replaced by what we “think” our kids need.

I love my kids.  I DO for my kids ALL DAY (and all night)

But at what point do I matter?

At what point do my needs matter JUST AS MUCH?

There is a saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”

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How many times have you read this and thought YES!

Like we know it but we don’t DO IT.  Because there are in fact a MILLION things that need to be done.  Always.

We go right back into doing everything for everyone else.   Because we feel guilty or we feel like “that’s our job.”

Without even thinking about what WE need.

We feel massive amount of guilty for making time for something we WANT to do.  Little different and a little selfish sounding right?

Here’s the deal, we gotta be selfish.

No one is going to push us out the door to workout or tell us to go get our nails done.  No one is going to say “why don’t you go take a bath or sit here quietly and read that book you have been trying to finish for the last 6 months.”

No one.

And they shouldn’t.

We need to stop waiting and take charge of what we need.

Something small. But something that makes an impact. Something that allows us to “get our mind right” so we can in fact, take care of everyone else that needs us.

We can’t pour from empty.

 

We gotta refill. Everyday.

Whatever your form of self care is, do it.  Make time for you and remember you can only be your best when your needs are met. And this is not a once every 6 month after you have had a breakdown occurrence.

Watching mommy run a race on Saturday morning. #selfish

Watching mommy run a race on Saturday morning. #selfish

You deserve it and we know our kids are watching us.  So why not instill the idea that mommy has needs too and yes everyone else and everything are important but not until mommy gets a little time for herself. Mommy does not come after dishes.  

There is no such thing as a bad mom.  But there times when we feel like we are mainly because we are suffocating because we simply cannot DO anymore.

There’s a problem in motherhood these days with moms entering the Pinterest Rabbit Hole.  That is EXACTLY what it is.  Everyone is trying to be “better” than the next so what we DO makes us feel worthy.  So you have a homemade Halloween costume and cute little shapes for lunch?  Who the fuck cares??

My question is always “Do you take CARE OF YOURSELF?”  Because we know that the cute little stuff that we “see” can only last so long until we lose our shit and cry because we are empty.  Inside we are empty because our needs are not met.

The solution…

Do something for YOU.  Recharge your batteries and remember you can only be as good for them as you are for you.  Giving a shit about things like “what we should be doing for them” is a waste of time.  Love them but don’t put yourself last so you can do everything FOR them.  They need and deserve a mom who feels her best.  It starts with us.

If you need a start, join my email list where I give tips, insights and a Healthy Mom Handbook so you can pull yourself from the funk and become a MomBeyondBaby.

2017-03-15T15:02:25+00:00