This idea that we need to be “her” is getting to me. Whether its with exercise, the way we eat, our job, motherhood. All of it.
There is so much noise out there and so much pressure we place on ourselves to be this person.
It’s suffocating if you let it. It’s paralyzing.
Maybe we want to be this person but many times we don’t. Sometimes are aren’t even aware.
On some level we are doing stuff we don’t enjoy or like because we think we “should.”
We do it because many times we are stuck. We allow ourselves to think we aren’t good enough if we don’t do whatever it is we think we should be doing.
Maybe our partner wants us to, we think our kids need us 24/7, we don’t know another way, etc. Whatever the case is, there is one aspect of our lives that we are living this way.
There is something pretty effing amazing about doing stuff for you. Because you want to. Because it feels authentic and good for you.
Here are a few examples from my own life:
Exercise. People at the gym are asking me to join their Crossfit class but I don’t want to. I just don’t enjoy it that much. It doesn’t feel good for me or my body right now. So I am opting out. There are a million ways to exercise and doing Crossfit because it deems us fit or whatever is insane. So I said no and I continue doing what I like. I lift, I run, I walk but exercise for me is something I love so why spend an hour everyday doing it in a way that didn’t feel good for me?
Job. Before starting MomBeyondBaby I was a teacher. I loved it. I still love education, curriculum and kids. But it didn’t feel good for me to return to work. I just didn’t want that for my life. So I created my business and now I do this and take care of my kids. It’s not better, it’s just how I wanted it. Again, authentic to me.
Nutrition. How many shakes, pills, plans etc have you seen? A million, right? Especially with the increase of companies with reps nowadays, its everywhere. This is the main reason I stopped selling Beachbody and started my own thing because I needed a lifestyle solution for myself and for moms just like me. Not a program where you put food in containers (nothing against it because people love it) but for me, I needed something that felt good. I needed to go to sleep knowing I was offering women a sustainable lifestyle solution for life. Not just a program from a box but something customized for them. Same for how I eat. I stopped dieting, counting crap, and measuring because it did not feel good for me. It was far from authentic to how I wanted to live.
Motherhood. How many ways are there to be a mom? A million. My style of parenting is very different from many people I know. I like to go places, enroll my kids in activities and do a variety of learning activities with them. We don’t watch TV, play video games, or do much with characters. Like my daughter has never seen Frozen and that is ok with me. We live in Tampa and she has never been to Disney but she has been fishing, camping, hiking and knows her letters and sounds. For show and tell she chose her bow to bring in over a doll. Neither scenario is better but I only parent in a way that feels good for me. Not because society tells me there is a better way. I am far from Pinterest worthy but I do what sits well in my heart.
Wife. I don’t keep a clean house or pride myself on having a perfectly decorated house. I buy lettuce in a bag and many times I buy meat that is ready for the oven. We eat take out alot. Being a Martha Stewart is not me. It is not authentic to me so I stopped trying and just own the fact that I would rather not (even though many of my friends craft, have lines on their carpet from the vacuum and cook meals from scratch.)
This happens all the time right? How many times have we gotten caught in the trap when it comes to these things that we end up doing stuff we don’t like because….(insert a million reasons)
But in the end…
This stuff won’t matter. Our happiness will. Right now we need to be happy. Not when __ happens but right now. This is hard because much of our life as a mom is about others. Finding ourselves and what makes us happy can be something we haven’t ever thought about or explored.
Much of our happiness we can control. We get to decide what we do and how we live life.
No one should ever drift through life because…Life is just too short to drift. Don’t be a drifter.
Let’s have purpose. Let’s stop doing stuff (because we should, for others, to please everyone else) and start to engage in things that make us happy.
We deserve this.
We are human.
Now go pick one area of your life and make a change. A small change. One that makes you happy. One that feels good for you.