I love being a mom.
It’s truly my calling in life.
It is by far the greatest “job” in the world. That being said, I think we can all agree that it’s hard work. It’s tiring, demanding, and can be downright draining some days.
When I became pregnant with my daughter in 2012 I knew I wanted to stay home. I also knew that because I don’t DIY or craft or clean I would drive myself crazy without my thing, hence the birth of my third baby, MomBeyondBaby. It’s what I consider the best of both worlds and allows me to have my outlet as a mom. (I teach moms how to do this in BusinessBeyondBaby 🙂
So for the past 3 years my daughter has been my sidekick. We have done everything together and I feel like I have really seen it all. I have witnessed all of her “firsts” and to say we have had fun would be an understatement. It’s been a blast raising a spunky, sassy and independent little girl.
She is basically my mini me (see below)
Everyone tried to prepare me for this thing called motherhood but I would by lying if I said my world was not completely rocked 3 years ago. Literally turned upside down. Major type A routine person here.
From that first night in the hospital I kept thinking “no one told me it was going to be like this!”
Nursing was REALLY hard. I was depressed. I had no help. I had no idea how to soothe a crying baby. I was pretty much a hot mess for the first few months.
I had to find my groove and do what worked for us. I was totally new at this motherhood thing and while it is instinctive, it is also extremely overwhelming the first time you do it. Second baby was a piece of cake but that is for another day.
So now that I have officially been on this journey for 3 years, what have I learned? Alot. And some I want to share with you here:
1. There is no such thing as a perfect mom. The minute I realized this, everything got easier. We are all trying to do our best.
2. I simply cannot be the best mom for my kids without taking time for myself. Even if it is 10 minutes a day, I need and crave that time for myself.
3. Despite what everyone tells you, there is no best way to do anything. Every kid is different and doing what works for my child was and still is key. For both of us.
4. Nursing is hard. It’s painful and it takes work to figure it all out. I was dedicated to breastfeeding because that is what felt right for my family but there are many days I wanted to quit. That being said, once I got to 6 months, it was easy and super convenient.
5. Not everyone feels a bond right away. I know, it’s not what you commonly hear but sometimes it doesn’t happen. And it’s ok. It comes with time.
6. Postpartum depression is real. It’s a struggle than no one tells you about. But it’s real and can take you places you never thought you would go.
7. Asking for help is hard but essential to functioning as a mom. Especially for strong, independent women like myself.
8. I have said completely ridiculous things to my children. Just like my mother said to me. I have claimed to have “eyes in the back of my head” and have threatened to “pull this car over right now!”
9. It’s ok to lose your shit once in awhile. I have a breakdown about every month or so. My husband calls me the “crazy wife” but once everything builds, I explode. It’s just part of being a super independent, “do it all” woman.
10. Stressing over having a perfect house is a waste of energy. Part of having kids is having a messy house. It’s ok. If my friends need a clean house to play then we are likely not the most compatible.
11. I have more patience than I ever thought. Some days I wonder how many more times I have to answer the same “why?”
12. I have never been tested as much as a person as I have as a mom. Some days I want to scream and run away but isn’t that all part of the fun?
13. Counting down until nap time and bedtime some days is ok and totally normal.
14. Chocolate, coffee, and wine are staples and should be required for all moms.
15. Having a tribe of mom friends who get you is essential. Husband are great but sometimes being surrounded by your girls is what we need. Oh and they are the best to cry with too.
16. When it doubt, just throw it in the diaper bag. Even if you never use it, just put it in. You never know.
17. Wipes are likely the most versatile thing created. How did I ever live without wipes on me at all times? Greatest invention ever.
18. The way your kids eat will affect their behavior just like it does with us as adults. If they constantly eat processed, sugary foods they will be moody, hungry and cranky. It’s worth the time and effort to overhaul their diets.
19. Living on a nap schedule is worth it for happy kids. Plus, it is my downtime, work block so it’s a win-win. Yes, I am selfish.
20. There is nothing better than sleeping children. They are happier and it’s essential for their development. See #19.
21. I can’t do it all. It’s ok. I don’t beat myself up about it because my kids are loved. That is all that matters.
22. Comparison sucks. It can be a brutal world out there among moms. Instead of comparing and trying to “one up” each other, being supportive and compassionate is far more beneficial.
23. Having kids placed stresses on my relationship with my husband. It hasn’t always been easy and we have been tested many times but we have also grown together and formed a team. Taking time for ourselves is still a constant struggle but something we are aware that needs to happen more for our partnership.
24. This too shall pass. It does. Once you get through one stage, you are onto the next. There is always something.
So there you have my top 24 things I have learned in the past 3 (plus) years. And yet I still have so much more to learn. Some days I wish I knew it all but I don’t. My kids are completely different and as I like to say “they keep me on my toes.”
Being a mom is no doubt the best job and is far beyond what I imagined. I am so grateful I was chosen to be a mom because I know not everyone is as fortunate. My kids have taught me so much about parenting but most importantly have revealed things about myself that I never knew. Hello control freak!
Becoming a mom is one of those things you can’t really explain. It’s truly something you feel. It literally takes over your entire being because the love you have for another human is unimaginable until you witness it.
Thank you for reading and being a part of the best mama tribe around.