I’m calling bullshit on balance. Really I am. Someone said to me the other day “you must have more hours in the day than the rest of us.” At first I laughed but then looked at her with complete honesty and said “I don’t.” Trust me.
My life is far from “balanced.” From a social media perspective, yep I have it all together. Or so it appears.
I post about my workouts that I do daily.
I show you pictures of my happy kids.
I give you snapshots into my very successful online business.
I give you a glimpse into what I am eating which is usually healthy.
But what I don’t highlight are the parts of my life that are taking a backseat. I don’t consider myself every “failing,” but let’s be real in that when one part of my life is successful, there are other parts that are not getting as much attention.
That is just human nature.
It’s easy to get caught up in what we “see” and think we suck. We start comparing our lives, our bodies and everything else in between to what we “see” often beating ourselves up for not finding that “balance.”
We are forever in search of the balance that comes with being a mom and all of the other hats we wear.
How does she do it?
She doesn’t. I don’t. No one does.
You should never think anyone does, because they don’t.
What you see are my priorities: myself, my kids, my family and my business.
For every picture you see of these things and think “wow she really has it all together”, you are not seeing:
- The pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
- The massive piles of laundry.
- Silence between my husband and I after the kids are in bed because we are just tired.
- The tantrum my daughter is throwing because I am staring at my phone responding to people’s messages instead of playing with her.
- The messy house that gets cleaned when Ms. Veronica comes to clean on Mondays.
- The take out boxes from last night’s dinner because cooking is not something I do.
- The stack of clutter on the counter.
Balance is crap.
Finding balance in motherhood doesn’t happen, at least not in this stage of our lives.
Pick and choose your priorities. Mine are not laundry, making fancy meals or cleaning my house. I get help (as hard as that is for this super independent woman) and call it a day.
I focus on what is important to me knowing that the rest is not going to be done with much effort. I am not failing, I am choosing.
I am choosing to not be supermom and allowing myself to be “UN” balanced.
My kids are happy. My days run on their schedules (because we all thrive on routine in my house).
I wake up super early to workout or do it when the kids are sleeping. I carve out time to sit and talk to my husband or cuddle while we stare at Netflix (quality time!) I work on my business everyday and sometimes it’s while I’m nursing and typing on my phone. And sometimes GASP! I let my toddler play with the iPad or watch a show so I can get something done.
That is my balance. And I refuse to see it as failing.
Far from actually balanced but right now my priority isn’t balance. There will be a time when keeping a clean house is important (or maybe not!) but right now I take care of me, my kids, my family and my business. That’s all I can handle right now. Instead of seeing it as a failure to let things like housework go I see it as a choice. It’s where I am right now. My energy is spent on those 4 things.
I spent years beating myself up because I wasn’t balanced or didn’t have what I thought was the “perfect scenario.” But then I realized perfect is a illusion. It’s perspective. And today, right now I’m seeing my imperfect life as happy. This is my balance❤❤